It’s always amusing to ponder things concerning people from the past, and in this article the idea is to imagine a Secret Santa doling out gifts to specific figures. For instance, Alfred the Great should be given an air fryer, to solve his cake-baking hang-ups. And King John would surely benefit from a snorkel with which to dive for his lost treasure baggage.

But the one that really made me laugh was the suggestion for Henry VII. “….I’d give Henry VII cash because no matter what I gave him, he’d return it for the money anyway….” Oh, how true! That’s the darling Weasel we know and, er, love. 🤢

Of course the idea of donating anything to Henry VII brought some responses from my friends, including: a conscience, a stick of dynamite on his throne, and a forged family tree to give him some sort of hereditary claim to the throne. My gift? A handwritten confession (copies pinned to all the church doors in England) from Elizabeth of York that all their children had been fathered by a burly bargee from Bermondsey. That would certainly be a Christmas for Henry to remember!

Oh well, we can all wish….


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  1. And of course they want to give Richard III a horse. 😂
    I’ve seen that joke so often that he must have a kingdom of horses by now!

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  2. I hope he managed to grab Tudor’s nag! I enjoy imagining the invading usurper dumped ignominiously in the Bosworth mud….which, if there’d been any justice, he would have been!

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  3. Aren’t we rushing the season? It’s not even June yet!

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  4. I don’t do the scheduling!

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  5. […] because his son and heir Arthur turned up his toes before his dear old Dad. Unfortunately the Weasel didn’t outlive Fat Henry too! So we had that gross so-and-so inflicted upon not only our […]

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  6. […] of Edward III. You may argue about who Edward’s rightful heir was, but it was definitely not Henry Tudor. That is the rough equivalent of suggesting that Richard II’s lawful heir was Anne of […]

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  7. […] team have discovered proof that both the “Princes” survived into 1487, by which time Henry “Tudor” had re-legitimated them both by repealing the original Titulus Regiuss unread. Both went on to […]

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  8. […] Beaufort named Margaret Beaufort usurped the throne of the legitimate king Richard III, becoming Henry VII, i.e. the Weasel we all know and love. Well, there was already one usurping Henry in the family, so […]

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  9. […] for Henry VII, the odious, undeserving victor of Bosworth, the boys were to come back in the years to come to […]

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  10. […] Henry VII reversed his attainder and his lands were restored to his family. […]

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  11. […] in the late medieval/early Tudor era will have heard of the two ‘pretenders’ to Henry VII‘s ill-gotten throne–Lambert Simnel and Perkin […]

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  12. […] remembered that the real woman in question was Eleanor Talbot as written in Titulus Regius. Yes, Henry Tudor had ordered all copies destroyed (one was not, fortunately, so we know what was REALLY written in […]

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  13. […] met his fate on the battlefield at Redemore (Bosworth) on Monday 22nd August 1485, and Henry Tudor took the throne. Elizabeth Woodville may have been sent to a convent some 15 months after she was […]

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  14. […] same Spin Gene and, by then, Tudor-Photoshopping excelled after Bosworth, when Henry VII managed to emerge the victor (through treachery, of course, he certainly didn’t fight his way […]

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